Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm sobbing to NWA
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
