I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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