i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
