1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize