We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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