fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
