You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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