His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
