just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
