I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
