I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
