Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
