There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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