you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
