im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
