At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
