Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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