Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
