I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
