Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
