that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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