a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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