I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
