she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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