yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize