I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
