Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
