Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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