you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
