wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize