That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
