I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
