Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
