two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize