And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize