So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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