I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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