Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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