There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
