i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
