there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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