My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
