I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
