My nipple is on Facebook.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
