Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
