Me too!
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
