he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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