I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize