Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
COCAINE IS GR8
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
