What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
