Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
