Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
