Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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