DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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