According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
