TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
