If i come over, it means nothing
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
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