It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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