ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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