You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize