as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
