I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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