New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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