well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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