Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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