About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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